Friday, July 15, 2011

Host Chat: What the Cluck?!!

Welcome to another edition of Host Chat.  Just as Regis shares exciting stories from his life each morning, I share my latest tales of hobnobbing, hijinks, and more often than not, humiliation! 
Another Big Metal Chicken.  Why's it staring at me
with that creepy eye?  Is it planning fowl play?
I fear I'm being followed... by a Big Metal Chicken.  Why, you ask?  Well, check out this play-by-play of my Thursday afternoon:
2:30pm - I randomly stumble upon a blog entry titled "Knock-knock Mother%&@, Giant Metal Chickens Revisited."  I find the entire site, The Bloggess, hilariously weird, and promptly bookmark it.
3:15pm- I check out Twitter and see that my friend Deanna (@Deannaee for those of you on Twitter) has -- coincidentally -- sent me the following note, about the exact same chicken:
 I think you should interview (before he gets too big for the coop).
[Cue scary-movie music now.... something like the Jaws theme, except with an occasional "cock-a-doodle-doo" thrown in.]
3:16pm- I check out the Twitter page of @BigMetalChicken... and see that he* follows a wide variety of people on Twitter... including ME!  And he started following me before Deanna "introduced" him to me with her Tweet. How did that happen?!
3:20pm- I notice this Tweet that @BigMetalChicken had posted earlier in the day:
 You're now being followed by a Big Metal Chicken. Your day can only go downhill from here.
Seriously, what the cluck is going on here?  Coincidence?  Or does Big Metal Chicken have a tracking device that enables him to see -- and respond to -- my every move?  Good thing my planned Thursday afternoon trip to Saks Fifth Avenue was cancelled... because Big Metal Chicken was probably right inside the front door, ready to spritz me with perfume and sell me the latest Marc Jacobs fragrance, "Henhouse."  Or maybe, since he's quite tall, he would've been waiting for me when I got home, "peering angrily over the roof of our house from the backyard."  Or perhaps he just wanted to leave me some passive-aggressive chicken notes, scrawled out in barely legible chicken scratch, of course.
All I know is, I'm going to think twice before leaving home today.  I fear he's plotting fowl play.

* This so-called chicken claims to be "All Rooster," and is therefore male.
To check out The Bloggess and Big Metal Chicken, click here.
To make like a Big Metal Chicken and follow me, go to:

1 comment:

  1. I love that Big Metal Chicken claims to be 'All Rooster!' Hilarious!