JILL: Please join me in welcoming Roseanne Barr to The Jill Dobson Show!
[Editor's note: Roseanne wasn't able to join me in-studio today.... because I don't have a studio. But if I did, this is what I'd ask.]
JILL: Roseanne, thank you for joining us today! You wrote a fascinating piece for the May 23rd issue of New York magazine. In it, you shed light on what really goes on behind the scenes of a sitcom... and it's not pretty, is it?
[At his point, Roseanne would respond, most likely with something deadpan, honest and brutally clever.]
JILL: You start the article by referencing Charlie Sheen. You write, "I do know what it's like to be seized by bipolar thoughts that make one spout wise about Tiger Blood and brag about winning when one is actually losing." Few of us can identify with Sheen. (Or would admit to it!) But you sound like you know what he's going through.
[At his point, Roseanne would respond, most likely with something deadpan, honest and brutally clever.]
JILL: I host The Jill Dobson Show, obviously, but I think we can all agree I'm not truly famous. I'm not Jerry Seinfeld-famous or anything! I have yet to grace the cover of Us Weekly. So, just like a lot of our viewers, I've always wondered, what does it feel like to truly become a household name? I'm thinking maybe it messes with your head, especially after reading this line that you wrote, "Your sense of entitlement grows exponentially with every perk until it becomes too stupendous a weight to walk around under." Wow.
[At his point, Roseanne would respond, most likely with something deadpan, honest and brutally clever.]
JILL: While reading the article, I kept thinking, "Wow, Roseanne is a really good writer." Then I found out you've released a new book, Roseannearchy. In one review, Booklist raves about it and calls you "crazy like a fox." Bill Maher says of your return to the spotlight, "Welcome back, crazy." So I'm assuming this book has some, well, crazy stories in it! What's one story in there that people might find... crazy?
[At his point, Roseanne would respond, most likely with something deadpan, honest and brutally clever.]
JILL: It's also pretty crazy go from starring on TV's top-rated sitcom, to working as a farmer. I actually grew up on a farm and have been clawing and scratching for years to move away from any career requiring manual labor. So I can't even imagine wanting to quit show business, move to Hawaii, and start farming macadamia nuts. Please help me understand why anyone would do such a thing!
[At his point, Roseanne would respond, most likely with something deadpan, honest and brutally clever.]
JILL: Thank you, Roseanne Barr, for joining us. [Jill turns to Camera 1.] Roseanne returns to TV later this year with Roseanne's Nuts, a Lifetime reality show about her farming endeavors. And everyone in the studio gets a copy of Roseanne's book, Roseannearchy! [Audience goes crazy, as we cut to commercial.]
Nice "interview"! Bodes well for when you have an actual guest!
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