Favorite Things: Fun, Fearless Blogs

Welcome to Favorite Things!  Here at The Jill Dobson Show, your favorite Oprah segment lives on, as I reveal the coolest tech, beauty and home products... except without Oprah, without any TV airtime, and without the free giveaways.  Hey, I'm doing the best I can here!

This week, I've discovered some fun, fearless females (to borrow the term from Cosmopolitan magazine) out there in the blogosphere.  (Hey, wait a minute-- Mr. Spellcheck gives me attitude every time I type "Dobson," but he lets "blogosphere" slides by no problem?!?!  Hmph.)  Anyway, here are a few of my new favorite blogs:

The Sneaker Experiment, because people write in and share the little steps they took to overcome big fears.  I especially identify with "Sneaker Story #4:  Drive on the Freeway."  Remind me someday to tell you why I was pushed into getting a driver's permit at the tender age of 14, and how incredibly terrified I was -- at just 13 -- when I took my road test.  And how many times I had to take it before I passed.  And about the instructor's screams emanating from the passenger seat during the first test.  Shudder. Bonus: The Sneaker Experiment was created by my dear friend Lisa Gilbar.

Stephanie Klein's Greek Tragedy, because her blog categories include "Drunken Blogging," "Food Porn," and "Judy Blume Moments."  

Bonus: Her June 27th post titled "Quick, Help Me Choose," actually helped me choose some themes for our soon-to-be-baby room.  Commenter LolaD recommended website Serena & Lily, with which I promptly became obsessed.  Thanks Stephanie and LolaD!

Average Moms Wear Capes, because self-described "average mom" Christie O. inspires me with her before-and-after from "large, unhappy, hot mess" to triathlete and half-marathoner.  I do love a good makeover story! Bonus: Christie O. attends movie junkets (something I've done many times in my years as an entertainment journalist).  Just as I was starting to get a bit blasé about the whole thing, she reminds me what a fascinating world I work in, with her delighted reports of celebrity encounters and behind-the-scenes peeks at the making of Winnie the Pooh and Cars 2.  That's right, this is fun!  I'm ready to jump back on the junket bandwagon!  Hey, Disney folks, please call my people and let's do this!

Ask Jill: The 'Single White Female' Edition

Welcome to ASK JILL, an unapologetic rip-off of the ASK WENDY segment on The Wendy Williams Show.  I've got the solution to your friendship, dating and work problems, in one 15-second soundbite!  (And if you haven't seen the 1992 thriller Single White Female, Netflix it now! The theme of today's "Ask Jill" will make a whole lot more sense if you know the movie!  Otherwise, it sounds somewhat racist and sexist... and that's not cool.)

Doling out my two cents, with a smile.  Source: Hi-Def News Caps

Q: My assistant used to be great.  Then, one day I was suddenly called out of the office for a family emergency.  As a last resort, I asked my assistant to give a short presentation in my place.  Well, it seems I've created a monster.  She now acts as if she believes she's fully capable of doing my job.  When I recently asked a fellow manager to do a presentation, my assistant actually pouted and said, "You should've asked me first!"  How do I explain to her that she needs another decade of experience, and a better attitude, before she jumps straight into a managerial position?  -Single White Manager
A: I call this the "Ugly Betty" scenario.  I used to like that show, until I got an assistant with all the pluck of good ol' Betty Suarez.  Then, I found I couldn't watch the show, because Betty truly believed she was smarter, more driven and better qualified to keep the company running than her boss... just what my assistant thought.  Actually, in Betty's case, it may have been true.  But in most offices, the people at the top are there for a reason.  I'd sit your assistant down and explain that we all believe we deserve the fast track to success when we're, say, 22.  By 32 we realize we've learned a lot in the past decade, and that all that experience is essential for the top job.  Let her know that her past efforts were appreciated, but her current attitude is not productive and if she has a problem being an assistant, perhaps she should look for a new job... at another company.

The blonde waves, bronzy glow, deep V-neck
and prominent bone structure.. evidence of Style Theft?

Q. I just finished my first year at college.  My roommate and I are planning to share a dorm again next year.  We got along great this year, except for one thing.  I think she took me too literally, wayyyy too literally, when I told her, "Feel free to borrow anything."  All year long, I'd bump into her on campus wearing my new top with my favorite shoes, or my most expensive sweater with my only designer purse.  People always had trouble telling us apart, and I think it's because she stole my style so completely.  It drove me crazy, but I didn't know what to say.  After all, I did tell her to "borrow anything."  Help!  -Single White Roommate
A: Remember when Nicole Richie and her stylist Rachel Zoe were best friends?  And then they had a mysterious falling out?  Neither has really explained what happened, but some people wondered* if maybe the tension stemmed from that Rachel's signature look became famous as "the Nicole Richie look."  Suddenly, Rachel, the less famous of the two, looked like a Nicole Richie copycat... when really the boho-chic style had been her signature for years.  Style Theft can kill a friendship, dear Single White Roommate.  If you're looking for a diplomatic method, try this: Pick the items you like best.  If that's 75% of your wardrobe, so be it.  When you return to school in the fall, have all those items literally under wraps -- something as simple as dry cleaning bags over the clothes, shoe boxes for the shoes, and a Rubbermaid container for your favorite purses.  As you unpack, explain to your roommate that you have a lot of items you're saving for special occasions... including everything that's in any kind of container or wrapping.  Then point out the loose shoes in the bottom of your closet and the drawer full of old T-shirts.  Let her know she's free to borrow those items anytime.  If she violates the new rule, you've got to come down hard on her the very first time.  Make it clear that this time around, not everything in your closet is up for grabs.  You're not being selfish, you're doing what it takes to save the friendship.  And what could be more generous than that? (Well, probably tons of things, but for now, let's just agree that you're selfless and wonderful.)


*"Some people" = me.  I'm the person who wondered if that's what went down.  Yes, these are the kinds of things I spend weeks, months, sometimes years dissecting.  I really should learn Japanese or take up Sudoku or do something else to occupy my mind!

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Do you have an "Ask Jill" question of your own?  Share it in the "comments" section below, or at:

www.Twitter.com/JillDobson
www.Facebook.com/JillDobson 

Host Chat: Trying to look Kardashi-esque

After an ugly run-in* with Katie Couric & Company yesterday, I pledged to start walking around in full hair and makeup all the time, like a Kardashian. I'm inspired by the famous quote, "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity."  Maybe being camera-ready all the time is one more way to be prepared, should opportunity strike.
Last night, I pulled out all the stops.  I took the tags off a brand-new dress. Then I actually IRONED it (which required a 15-minute search for the iron, since I usually have a firm anti-ironing stance).  I spent the next hour blowdrying my hair into a perfectly sleek, straight look and caking on as much makeup as I could handle.  I added jewelry and some of my cutest shoes.  Then I walked a couple blocks in the New York City summer humidity, hailed a cab, and headed out to dinner, where I was photographed looking completely un-Kardashian-esque:

So what went wrong?  Well, you'll see in the photo of Kim below, that her dress is belted to show off her small waist.  Clearly, since I'm expecting a baby, that wasn't an option for me.  

I obviously could have used a lot more makeup, including false eyelashes and plenty of blush, to amp up the glam factor. If I were truly committed to this project, I would've bought (or borrowed) a Chanel purse.  And as far as accessories go, a few paparazzi in the background never hurt.  I realize I'll never have Kim's always-amazing hair, but I clean up somewhat decently and I have a decade of journalism experience, a master's degree, and an improv comedy background.  Smart, funny, dedicated to the craft... hey, TV network execs... do any of these things make up for non-Kardashian hair? If so, my agent awaits your call.




*Meaning I looked ugly.  Not that Couric and I had an argument or something!  (See previous blog for full story).

Host Chat: Lunching with Couric

Welcome to another edition of Host Chat.  Just as Regis shares exciting stories from his life each morning, I share my latest tales of hobnobbing, hijinks, and more often than not, humiliation!

Scores* of my Twitter friends** have been asking me, "Why haven't you posted any new Jill Dobson Show things?  I like reading those."  The answer, friends, is that I've been busy lunching... with Katie Couric.  Kinda.
Earlier this week, I met up with my friend Elise for an early al fresco lunch at a place called Rosa Mexicano.  Our outdoor seats granted me the perfect view of every customer entering the restaurant.  As our iced tea arrived, I whispered to Elise, "Robin Roberts is walking up right behind you."  Over guacamole, I said, "Here comes Katie Couric."  As the waiter dropped off my enchiladas*** I told Elise, "Elizabeth Vargas and Chris Cuomo approaching."  To which she replied, "And there's George Stephanopoulos!"
Normally, I'm not one to drop names, but apparently this was a newsworthy event, since it was reported by esteemed sites including the Huffington Post.  TV Newser also picked up the story, and that site always gets its facts right, even when reporting on the mysterious comings-and-goings of TV's Jill Dobson.  So I knew this was something I should share with The Jill Dobson Show audience.
Here's the deal: I presume the lunch was to discuss Katie's upcoming role at ABC, since TV Newser reports that in addition to all the ABC on-air talent I spotted, behind-the-scenes talent like ABC News President Ben Sherwood was there as well.
We've all heard Couric is gearing up to host a talk show on the network, so maybe I should've approached the table, regaled them with hilarious anecdotes about my life as a reporter, and suggested Couric consider a The View-like format for her show, with Jill Dobson in the "fashionable young blonde mom" role (aka the "Elisabeth Hasselbeck sans strong political stances" role).
The problem, unfortunately, was fashion.  My lunch with Elise was an impromptu one, planned on the fly as I walked home from yoga class.  With my sweaty glowing face, bedraggled tousled ponytail, and too-tight fitted yoga wear, the very nicest thing you could say about my look was that perhaps I was channeling the 1990s heroin chic trend.  And probably the very last thing you would say about my look was that it screamed, "I'm a TV star!"  So I wimped out, avoided eye contact with Katie & Company, and possibly missed my big break.  Sigh.
The moral of the story?  Never go to yoga class.  Perhaps it's this: Always look like a TV star.  Kim Kardashian manages to work it every single day in full hair and makeup, sky-high heels, and the perfect designer bag.  I just need to try a little (OK, a lot harder).  But I also love casual Fridays (and Tuesdays, and Wednesdays)... don't you?
So that's what I'm wrestling with here -- whether to keep being glamorous my usual 10% of the time, or try to bring on the glamour 100% of the time. Quite a quandary.  For now, though, I'll have to table the discussion, because it's time to pull my tangled hair into a ponytail and head to yoga class!


*OK, one Twitter friend asked that question.  Thanks, @romanov_76_110!
**Notice how I don't call y'all "followers," I call you friends?  Doesn't that warm your heart and make you want to reach out to Disney chief Bob Iger and ABC News president Ben Sherwood and request they give good old Jilly Dee a talk show gig?
***I mean, er, green salad, no dressing.  Gotta keep fit because "the camera adds 10 pounds," you know.

Host Chat: Huffington Post

Yesterday, a friend told me how much she loves the Huffington Post's wide variety of interesting articles. Within the hour, my friends Kristin and Gavin each emailed to tell me they love my latest Onion News Network video... A video which, coincidentally, is featured on Huffington Post.  OK, universe, I hear you, I'll go read everything on HuffPo right now!  Starting, of course, with any pages featuring my alter ego, Onion News Network Entertainment Correspondent Madison Daly.  Oh, look, Madison's got news about Green Lantern's Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively. Let's watch now!

My alter ego Madison Daly in a "Green Lantern" ONN video

An Open Letter to Katie Couric

Couric on The View.  Please make room on your couch for me!

In my open letter to Katie Couric (below), I ask her to make room for me on her upcoming talk show. After all, we have plenty in common:

• I've been on the Today Show (sharing entertainment scoop)
• I've worked for CBS News (as an Early Show Entertainment Contributor, and as a news reporter at CBS affiliates)
• I believe "there are a lot of smart people... craving smart conversation" who would watch a thoughtful, yet fun, talk show

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- 

Dear Katie, I once interviewed you on the red pink carpet at the premiere of the Sex and the City movie.  I was the one with a FOX mic, a fuchsia dress and a big smile.  Remember me?  I looked just like this:

Our interview was brief, but upbeat, as you told cameraman Tommy Chiu and me that you loved the Sex and the City series, and couldn't wait to see the movie.  You and I hit it off, and I'm sure our great rapport would continue on the set of your upcoming talk show. Perhaps you're considering a The View-like panel for your talk show?  If so, maybe this soon-to-be Mom... from the Midwest... would appeal to the viewers at home. 
Or maybe you want someone to spearhead occasional makeover segments, like Lawrence Zarian does on Live with Regis and Kelly -- I could do that!  I lovvvve a good makeover, and I know just the experts to round up for the job!  (Off the top of my head, these pals come to mind... Makeup: Kristofer Buckle, Hair: Oscar Blandi, Wardrobe: Hitha Prabhakar). 
If you want to include fun celebrity scoop, I could dish with you, like my friend Dawn Yanek does on The Wendy Williams Show.  I know, I know, you want to talk about intelligent topics, but there's nothing wrong with a fun Hollywood roundup on the occasional Friday, is there? Ask your partner-in-talk Jeff Zucker.  I'll bet he'll agree with me.  As you've said, Zucker "knows the sweet spot of when people are talking about a particular subject."  And sometimes that subject is Angelina Jolie.  I'm just sayin'. * 
I've been working toward this dream for a very long time, and I'd play any role on your show.  I'll be the Lisa Ling to your Oprah, the Gretta to your Rachael, or, if comes down to it, I'll make fool of myself for you, on TV and at the local Starbucks, just like Dennis Quaid on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.  If you haven't seen this video yet, Katie, you must watch it now!  As you watch, remember, I'm happy to be the Quaid to your DeGeneres.  And if that isn't dedication, I don't know what is!
Thanks for your consideration... my agent awaits your call!
Sincerely,
Jill Dobson a.k.a. The Dobson to your Couric


Don't forget, Jolie was your co-star in the 2004 film Shark Tale.  You're not going to forget the "little people," like Angelina, now that you're a big talk show host... right?

Host Chat: Wedding Dress Obsessed

Welcome to another edition of Host Chat.  Just as Regis shares exciting stories from his life each morning, I share my latest tales of hobnobbing, hijinks, and more often than not, humiliation!

Maybe it's the beautiful photos from Niecy Nash's recent wedding (above), or Sherri Shepherd's frequent tweets about her upcoming wedding, or leftover royal wedding fever, or nostalgia for the pre-pregnancy days when I had a waist... but lately I'm obsessed with wedding dresses.  Obsessed!  I stop and linger outside wedding stores, peruse wedding magazines at the newsstand, and find myself dismayed that, unlike every other summer of my life, I don't even have one upcoming wedding to look forward to!  How'd that happen?

Another possible reason why I'm dress obsessed: I recently celebrated five years of marriage to my husband, Hollywood Super Agent Jim Ornstein.  I'd always planned to slip back into my wedding dress for one of my major anniversaries.  (My mom wore her wedding dress to her 25th anniversary party, which was fabulous.)  Since Jim and I are expecting a baby later this year (and, let's be honest, I've spent the past 5 years eating way too much pizza), there was no way I'd fit into my dress for this anniversary.  

With Mary Ann Dobson,
Mother of the Bride, on my wedding day.

The upside, of course, is that we'll soon have a new little family member... and I'll have an even better shot at getting my dream gig as a talk show host!  After all, viewers love hearing about Sherri Shepherd's and Elisabeth Hasselbeck's kids on The View.  (Right, Bill Geddie?) And if The Talk ever needs another mom on the panel, maybe now I'll have a shot at it!  (Right, Sara Gilbert?)

So, Mr. Geddie and Ms. Gilbert, please add me to your roster of potential fill-in hosts right away!  I promise I'll come armed with hilarious stories about celebrity encounters at my prenatal classes, the ridiculous lengths my husband and I went to to hide the pregnancy during the early months, and how we just might one-up all the celebrities in Hollywood with the craziest of baby names.  (Kal-Mowgli, anyone?)

Host Chat: The Jumbotron

Welcome to another edition of Host Chat.  Just as Regis shares stories from his exciting life each morning on his talk show, I share my latest tales of hobnobbing, hinjinks, and more often than not, humiliation!

Rachel McAdams (center, in hat) on a Jumbotron

A few days ago, my friend Alicia emailed me this video, titled "Rachel McAdams on a Jumbotron."  In it, the star of "The Notebook" goes crazy when she spots of herself on the bigscreen at a hockey game, which makes me (along with every hockey fan out there) love her immensely. Such enthusiasm!  Such joy!  Nothing like the many jaded, bored-acting celebrities I've encountered at junkets and red carpets. (I'm talking to you, Mark Wahlberg.)  
In the email, Alicia wrote to me, "I feel like this is what you would do on the jumbotron!"  Which makes me love her immensely.  I love that she thinks I'm as fun as McAdams.
I actually did appear on a jumbotron one time at a 2007 Yankees game.  I'd been sitting in terrible seats, but then I ran into my greenroom friend* Pam Bondi at the concession stands.  Pam brought me back to her seats (which where awesome!) to say hello to Contessa Brewer, whom I knew from my frequent guest appearances at MSNBC.  I'm not sure if it was Pam's charisma, Contessa's beauty or our proximity to the field (and therefore the cameras), but within seconds after I sat down, the three of us ended up on the jumbrotron.  Sadly, I didn't stand up and dance or do anything super fun.  I resisted those urges, and was actually quite proud of myself for just acting like a normal person... until I saw the McAdams video. McAdams made me realize there's nothing cooler than sharing genuine joy with the world.  So next time the camera comes my way, get ready to see me tootsie roll, or do the roger rabbit, or whatever other circa-1993 dance move comes to mind.  (Macarena, anyone?) 


*Greenroom friend: Someone you befriend after meeting in the greenroom (aka the backstage area) of a TV studio.  When I worked for Star Magazine, I made regular appearances at various TV studios.  I spent time almost every day in the greenrooms at FNC, CNN and MSNBC... meeting lots of interesting people.  Best greenroom encounter ever?  A baby cheetah!  I actually got to pet him!  His fur was surprisingly rough, but he was so cute... until he had a little "accident" on the floor of the makeup room.  Oops!  Time for me to go on-camera now!  See ya!

Casting Call: Anna Kendrick

Welcome to another edition of Casting Call: Jill's Search for the Perfect Co-Host!  With each Casting Call, I advocate for someone I'd love as my future talk show co-host.  Eventually, the viewers (and the network executives) will make the final call.

Will Anna (right) yuk it up like this with me someday?
Photo source: Zimbio

Anna Kendrick would be just perfect as the co-host of my (still theoretical) talk show, even though she's busy being a wildly successful movie star! She's an Oscar nominee (for her role in Up in the Air) and a Tony nominee (for her role in High Society on Broadway).  She's also been in scores of other movies, including some little known indy films you probably haven't heard of... called the Twilight series.  Ring any bells?
I learned of her when I hosted Strategy Room for FoxNews.com, and frequent guest Ryan Brockington always raved about her.  He kept telling me, and our viewers, that we needed to see Up in the Air immediately.  I saw it and I agreed with Ryan, as did The Academy, which promptly handed out nominations to Kendrick, George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, and director Jason Reitman. 
As talented as Anna is at making scripts come alive, I find her even more charming when she's off-script.  That's why I'd love to co-host a talk show with her.  She's a funny, funny girl and she's always so engaging.  I love when she's herself, both on-camera and on Twitter, where she describes herself in the following way:
"Pale, awkward and very very small.  Form an orderly queue, gents."
She's not only self-deprecating, she's also patient, even when journalists ask her the same questions again and again, like, "How does it feel working with hotties like Rob Pattinson and George Clooney?"  To which she once told the ladies of The View, "It's like having a really hot cousin and everybody talks about wanting to sleep with your cousin and you're like, dude, don't say that to me."  
Speaking of The View, maybe Kendrick isn't such a longshot to be my co-host.  If Oscar, Emmy, Tony and Grammy winner (whew!) Whoopi Goldberg can find fulfillment in the talk show world, perhaps Kendrick can, too.  And, as an added bonus, the network executives would be very happy to have one of the co-hosts of The Jill Dobson Show* be "a name," something I very clearly am not (see previous post).  With Kendrick on board, the network might finally greenlight my talk show.  And with her humor and warm personality, along with our certain on-air chemistry, the show is likely to stay on the air for many, many [new] moons.**




*Anna, call me to discuss a new show title.  I'll even give you top billing!  (Take that, Clooney!)
**Yes, that was a reference to a little indy film called The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Fashion Fix

Welcome to Fashion Fix!  The ladies of The View share their fashion scoop on their website daily.  I, too, share my TV-worthy looks, but only on the days I manage to get out of my pajamas!

Captured by paparazzi outside Dan Tana's 

Time for another amazing dinner at my favorite West Hollywood eatery, Dan Tana's.  The restaurant claims, accurately, that it's "always fully packed with customers rubbing elbows with Hollywood elite."  Last time I was here, it was a few days after the 2010 Oscars and I ran into actor Jeremy Renner.  I congratulated him for his nomination for "The Hurt Locker," and the film's Best Picture Win.  After that A-list run-in, who might I encounter his time around?  Maybe some hotshot TV executives looking for a fun co-host for the talk show they're developing!  That's why I cracked out my lucky shoes.  I bought these when I auditioned for the co-host gig at Dancing with the Stars, back when Samantha Harris left the show.  The audition went so well, I got a callback!  (Nice work, lucky shoes!)  My second time around, I actually did a short on-camera bit with Tom Bergeron on the actual DWTS soundstage.  It was so exciting to be in the running for such an amazing job!  Can you imagine co-hosting a show that's often the top rated program on TV?!  At my callback, Bergeron was hilarious, and so friendly to me.  He immediately put me at ease, and helped me have another strong audition.  In the end, the producers told me they decided to go with "a name,"* and they gave the job to the significantly more famous (and more accomplished, and more gorgeous) Brooke Burke.  I can't argue with their decision!  
As for me, it truly was an honor just to be considered.**  Every time I wear my lucky shoes, I think about DWTS... and I wonder what other amazing opportunities might be just around the corner.

FASHION FIX
Dress: Graham & Spencer (from their maternity line)
Bag: Marc Jacobs gray shoulder bag with bird detail
Shoes: Jimmy Choo snakeskin platform peep toe pump

*If only I had a nickel (or an on-air gig!) for every time I've heard that

**Probaby the same thing Renner said to me, outside Dan Tana's last year

Host Chat: Pulling a Lohan

Welcome to another edition of Host Chat.  Just as Regis shares stories from his exciting life each morning on his talk show, I share my latest tales of hobnobbing, hinjinks, and more often than not, humiliation!

The necklace, via Socialitelife.com

As you may known, Lindsay Lohan often shops at high-end jewelry stores-- sometimes with unfortunate consequences.  Well, I'm starting to understand what might've gone wrong for Ms. Lohan.  Here's the story: The other day, I needed a really special necklace for my 5-year wedding anniversary celebration.  So I was shopping at my favorite high-end jewelry store, Banana Republic.
Wait- why's everyone laughing?
Anyway, just like Lohan was shopping with a friend the day of her alleged necklace theft, I was shopping with my husband, Hollywood Super Agent Jim Ornstein.  And you know how Lohan and her friend were accused of distracting the sales staff by chatting with them while simultaneously trying on several necklaces?  Well... yours truly was trying on every necklace in the store, while also fielding questions about the baby bump (clearly the clerk should have been tuning in to The Jill Dobson Show) and the planned anniversary celebration.  Eventually, I picked a short turquoise necklace, headed to the checkout, and was about to leave the store when something caught my eye.  A very long gold chain was still hanging from my neck!  A long gold chain I hadn't paid for!  And the only reason I saw it was because it was so long that.... it was resting on my baby bump!  What if it had been shorter, like the tiny little chain in the Lohan case?!  I'd be under house arrest right now!  And worse, so would my future baby.  Can you imagine the life of mayhem in store for someone who gets arrested before even being born?  Shudder.
So the good news is, I spotted the necklace in time, and returned it to the clerk well before the police were called.  Then I left with the other, paid-for necklace, along with a fresh sense of empathy for Ms. Lohan.
Later that night, I put on my new necklace, and made a toast (with milk!) to our marriage, upcoming baby, and my continued lack of a police record. A cause for celebration, if there ever was one! 

A (milk!) toast for our anniversary,
upcoming baby and lack of jail time!

Host Chat: Jill's Big News

Welcome to another edition of Host Chat.  Just as Regis shares stories from his exciting life each morning on his talk show, I share my latest tales of hobnobbing, hijinks, and more often than not, humiliation!

6/3/11: Special Red Eye edition of "Baby Bump Show & Tell"

I had an exciting weekend!  I made a big announcement in the early hours of Friday morning.  I was a guest on Red Eye, and at the end of the show, I took a quick moment to tell my fellow panelists and viewers everywhere some news: "With a little help from my husband, I have the hot new Hollywood accessory-- a baby bump!"
I expect the news to end up on the cover of Us Weekly and all the industry blogs immediately!  In the meantime, I'm getting tons of funny and encouraging reactions from people on Twitter, including these comments:
@KevTracy: Just please don't name him or her Kal-El* or Bronx Mowgli**
@FrankR_08: Hope he or she is a healthy future red carpet reporter
@TheKennedySmith [paraphrasing Red Eye host Greg Gutfeld]: Congratulations on gettin' fat!  (I kid. Congratulations, really.)
@NickiLaLa13: Tonight's RedEye was hysterical. And congrats to Jill Dobson!!
@bubbacrzy: When we said we want 'more Dobson' we didn't mean more belly. You take things too literally!


Thanks to the all the cyber comments, we've already decided to name the baby Kal-Mowgli.  And yes, we'll get little K-M working the red carpet and the Hollywood junket scene by age 4.  (That's how prodigies are made, you know!)  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go wait by my mailbox for all my weekly celebrity magazines to arrive... gotta see how many covers feature me rather than boring old Angelina Jolie this month!


*As in Nick Cage's son
*As in Ashlee Simpson's son
Photo credit: www.highdefnewscaps.blogspot.com 

Special Thanks to: Hollywood Super Agent Jim Ornstein (also known as the father-to-be)!

An Open Letter to Chelsea Handler

I've spent a Regis-esque amount of time* talking about celebrities on TV. I've battled with Bill O'Reilly on The O'Reilly Factor and chatted with Natalie Morales on the Today Show.  My next goal?  To bash The Bachelorette alongside Chelsea Handler and friends on Chelsea Lately.  

When will it be MY turn to be groped by Chelsea Handler?!

Dear Chelsea, 

You might not recall, but we've been on TV together in the past.  We talked about Nicole Richie's weight (or whatever the hot topic was in 2007ish), on MSNBC's Scarborough Country.  You were outrageously hilarious, I shared a witty comment or two, and you made a mental note to yourself, saying, "Self, someday I'm going to have this Jill Dobson character as a panelist on my show.  She's fun!"

I'll also fit in with your team.  I once interviewed Chelsea Lately staffer Heather McDonald for Fox News' Strategy Room during her book tour, and we hit it off.  In case you don't believe me, here's proof: She signed a copy of her book for me with the words, "Jill, you're pretty and I like that about you."  You know I'm telling the truth because A) I get hives whenever I compliment myself, so there's no way I would've made that up; and B) Doesn't that sound just like Heather?

Another solid reason to have me on your show - I know just how to get to the E! studios.  My many TV jobs through the years have included work as an E! News correspondent, so I can be there in 5 minutes flat (just give me a day to fly across the country and check into my hotel first, though, please).

I also have extensive experience joking around with a panel of comedians, and mercilessly mocking my very own Chuy, Red Eye sidekick Bill Schulz. See the video here.  

Putting up my dukes, moments before pummeling Schulzy.

For these reasons and many more, I'd love the shot to be a panelist on your show sometime.  My agent awaits your call.  Oh, and Joe Scarborough says hello!  And Nicole Richie says #@^% off!

Sincerely,

Jill Dobson

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Note to The Jill Dobson Show audience members: Please help get Jill a spot on the Chelsea Lately panel!  Contact Chelsea's team on Facebook or Twitter (@ChelseaHandler) today!  Thank you for your support.

*Regis Philbin holds the Guinness World Record for most hours on camera.  I'm sure I'm probably a close 2nd, right after Regis, Mary Hart, Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw, David Letterman, Chelsea Handler... OK, maybe I'm more like 7th.