Host Chat: Yogi's Choice

Welcome to Host Chat.  Just as Regis shares exciting stories from his life each morning, I share my latest tales of hobnobbing, hijinks, and more often than not, humiliation! 

Utkatasana aka Powerful Pose aka Chair Pose... aka Ouch!

I'm reeling from a Twitter comment comparing my recent Red Eye appearance -- with my baby bump -- to that of a Sumo wrestler.  The Sumo comment knocked me off-balance because, in many ways, I'm in the best shape of my life.  That's due to my new obsession: prenatal yoga. Today's class was so hard!  Not only did we hold several lunges and warrior poses until our quads were burning, but then we held the Utkatasana pose (photo above) five times longer than I thought I was capable of... and then we did a couple of wall sits, you know, just for fun!  I challenge you to get up right now and follow these directions for Utkatasana: Bend the knees as if you're about to sit down on a chair, bringing your thighs as close as parallel to the floor as possible.  Now stay there for, say, 30 seconds.  Rest for a moment.  Now repeat!  

While you put out the fire in your legs and get your heart rate back to normal... I'll try to develop the thick skin Kelly Ripa, Sherri Shepherd and Elisabeth Hasselbeck must've formed to survive the daytime TV spotlight. I'm not sure how they did it!  I guess I'll start with an Ommmm.  (Which, unlike Utkatasana, I'm actually able to pronouce!)

-----

Share your thoughts (especially the non-Sumo ones!) in the "comments" section below, or at:

www.twitter.com/jilldobson

www.facebook.com/jilldobson

Talk Show Hopeful: Success is Contagious

Welcome to another edition of Talk Show Hopeful, where I share the latest ups and downs in my lifelong quest to become a Talk Show Host.

Melissa & Joan Rivers on my pal Rob Shuter's talk show

I think the universe is trying to tell me something.  Listen carefully and you can almost make out a loving voice saying, "Yes, Jill, you'll soon get your own (wildly successful) TV talk show!"  Do you hear it?
Aside from the voices (in my head), there are the signs...
Sign #1: My friend Rob Shuter, a frequent (and fantastic!) guest on Strategy Room, the online talk show I once hosted, recently shared this tweet:
LOVE the new ad for my talk show "Naughty But Nice with Rob" http://bit.ly/mSf6Oq
I love it too, Rob!  (And a shout-out to HDNet's Mark Cuban and Philip Garvin for recognizing Rob's humor, energy and charisma!)  I'm desperate to watch the show, but my cable provider doesn't seem carry HDNet.  (What? Why?!)  To double-check, I hit "guide" on my TV remote to search for Rob's show, Naughty But Nice with Rob Shuter.  After I typed in "Naughty," a lot of show titles popped up, almost none of which I'm comfortable sharing here!*  And none of them were Rob's show.  But I have a call in to my cable company to demand HDNet immediately!  In the meantime, I'm incredibly pleased to know that Rob is knocking it out of the park!  I believe success is contagious -- the better my friends and colleagues are doing, the better off I am!  Congratulations, Rob!
Sign #2: Twitter's "Similar to You" feature tells me which fellow Tweeters I'm most, um, similar to. (I guess that that went without saying.)  Usually, it lists a bunch of cartoon characters and inanimate objects, which is kind of annoying... I'd like to think I'm very animated, without being cartoonish, thank you very much!  But this week, Twitter announced that of the millions of people on Twitter, I'm most similar to The View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck... and, wait for it... The View co-host Sherri Shepherd!  Hey, Bill Geddie**, if you're looking for a fill-in co-host one day this summer, the Twitterverse has a suggestion for you... ME (or Time Out New York film reviewer Keith Uhlich)!  Here's proof:

Sign #3: I'm on TV tonight (actually 3amET Saturday morning), doing what I do best: Belittling Greg Gutfeld's sidekick Bill Schulz on FNC's Red Eye.  Red Eye viewers, before you tune in and start googling "Jill Dobson Fat" (again!), please note that I'm expecting a baby... and feel free to re-read my blog post: "Host Chat: The Leg Chair" -- conveniently listed on the right side of this page, under "Popular Posts."  Thanks!  Oh, this one isn't really a sign... it's actually just some sneaky self-promotion.  I'm sorry.  I'm still waiting for Sign #3.  I'll let you know when I see it!  In the meantime, don't forget to tune into Red Eye!  (Oops- there I go again!)

-----

*OK, I'll share just one: Naughty Amateur Home Videos... eek!  Not what I was looking for!
**Mr. Geddie, your bookers are welcome to call my people any time!

-----

Share your thoughts in the "comments" section below, or at:

www.twitter.com/jilldobson

www.facebook.com/jilldobson

Host Chat: Lunching with Couric

Welcome to another edition of Host Chat.  Just as Regis shares exciting stories from his life each morning, I share my latest tales of hobnobbing, hijinks, and more often than not, humiliation!

Scores* of my Twitter friends** have been asking me, "Why haven't you posted any new Jill Dobson Show things?  I like reading those."  The answer, friends, is that I've been busy lunching... with Katie Couric.  Kinda.
Earlier this week, I met up with my friend Elise for an early al fresco lunch at a place called Rosa Mexicano.  Our outdoor seats granted me the perfect view of every customer entering the restaurant.  As our iced tea arrived, I whispered to Elise, "Robin Roberts is walking up right behind you."  Over guacamole, I said, "Here comes Katie Couric."  As the waiter dropped off my enchiladas*** I told Elise, "Elizabeth Vargas and Chris Cuomo approaching."  To which she replied, "And there's George Stephanopoulos!"
Normally, I'm not one to drop names, but apparently this was a newsworthy event, since it was reported by esteemed sites including the Huffington Post.  TV Newser also picked up the story, and that site always gets its facts right, even when reporting on the mysterious comings-and-goings of TV's Jill Dobson.  So I knew this was something I should share with The Jill Dobson Show audience.
Here's the deal: I presume the lunch was to discuss Katie's upcoming role at ABC, since TV Newser reports that in addition to all the ABC on-air talent I spotted, behind-the-scenes talent like ABC News President Ben Sherwood was there as well.
We've all heard Couric is gearing up to host a talk show on the network, so maybe I should've approached the table, regaled them with hilarious anecdotes about my life as a reporter, and suggested Couric consider a The View-like format for her show, with Jill Dobson in the "fashionable young blonde mom" role (aka the "Elisabeth Hasselbeck sans strong political stances" role).
The problem, unfortunately, was fashion.  My lunch with Elise was an impromptu one, planned on the fly as I walked home from yoga class.  With my sweaty glowing face, bedraggled tousled ponytail, and too-tight fitted yoga wear, the very nicest thing you could say about my look was that perhaps I was channeling the 1990s heroin chic trend.  And probably the very last thing you would say about my look was that it screamed, "I'm a TV star!"  So I wimped out, avoided eye contact with Katie & Company, and possibly missed my big break.  Sigh.
The moral of the story?  Never go to yoga class.  Perhaps it's this: Always look like a TV star.  Kim Kardashian manages to work it every single day in full hair and makeup, sky-high heels, and the perfect designer bag.  I just need to try a little (OK, a lot harder).  But I also love casual Fridays (and Tuesdays, and Wednesdays)... don't you?
So that's what I'm wrestling with here -- whether to keep being glamorous my usual 10% of the time, or try to bring on the glamour 100% of the time. Quite a quandary.  For now, though, I'll have to table the discussion, because it's time to pull my tangled hair into a ponytail and head to yoga class!


*OK, one Twitter friend asked that question.  Thanks, @romanov_76_110!
**Notice how I don't call y'all "followers," I call you friends?  Doesn't that warm your heart and make you want to reach out to Disney chief Bob Iger and ABC News president Ben Sherwood and request they give good old Jilly Dee a talk show gig?
***I mean, er, green salad, no dressing.  Gotta keep fit because "the camera adds 10 pounds," you know.

Host Chat: Wedding Dress Obsessed

Welcome to another edition of Host Chat.  Just as Regis shares exciting stories from his life each morning, I share my latest tales of hobnobbing, hijinks, and more often than not, humiliation!

Maybe it's the beautiful photos from Niecy Nash's recent wedding (above), or Sherri Shepherd's frequent tweets about her upcoming wedding, or leftover royal wedding fever, or nostalgia for the pre-pregnancy days when I had a waist... but lately I'm obsessed with wedding dresses.  Obsessed!  I stop and linger outside wedding stores, peruse wedding magazines at the newsstand, and find myself dismayed that, unlike every other summer of my life, I don't even have one upcoming wedding to look forward to!  How'd that happen?

Another possible reason why I'm dress obsessed: I recently celebrated five years of marriage to my husband, Hollywood Super Agent Jim Ornstein.  I'd always planned to slip back into my wedding dress for one of my major anniversaries.  (My mom wore her wedding dress to her 25th anniversary party, which was fabulous.)  Since Jim and I are expecting a baby later this year (and, let's be honest, I've spent the past 5 years eating way too much pizza), there was no way I'd fit into my dress for this anniversary.  

With Mary Ann Dobson,
Mother of the Bride, on my wedding day.

The upside, of course, is that we'll soon have a new little family member... and I'll have an even better shot at getting my dream gig as a talk show host!  After all, viewers love hearing about Sherri Shepherd's and Elisabeth Hasselbeck's kids on The View.  (Right, Bill Geddie?) And if The Talk ever needs another mom on the panel, maybe now I'll have a shot at it!  (Right, Sara Gilbert?)

So, Mr. Geddie and Ms. Gilbert, please add me to your roster of potential fill-in hosts right away!  I promise I'll come armed with hilarious stories about celebrity encounters at my prenatal classes, the ridiculous lengths my husband and I went to to hide the pregnancy during the early months, and how we just might one-up all the celebrities in Hollywood with the craziest of baby names.  (Kal-Mowgli, anyone?)

Talk Show Hopeful: Jill Dobson

Welcome to another edition of Talk Show Hopeful: Jill Dobson.  With each Talk Show Hopeful, I share the latest ups and downs in my lifelong quest to become a Talk Show Host.

Jill Dobson plays "Madison Daly" on Onion News Network

As you know, Sherri Shepherd was best known as a comedic actress, before landing her job as a host on The View.  I'm hoping my recurring role as "Madison Daly" on the always-hilarious Onion News Network will likewise help me make the transition into the world of talk.  This week on the ONN, my character shares Harry Potter scoop you certainly won't hear anywhere else!  Watch the brand-new video here!

Anyway, I'm sure hoping the Sherri Shepherd Method works for me.  If not, I'm left with these options:  

--Elisabeth Hasselbeck Method: Compete on Survivor, then eventually host a talk show.  For me, the reality ship has sailed. True story: I once worked for a company where some of the employees were going to be featured on a reality show.  My boss asked me to meet with the reality casting directors.  When I told this to my husband, Hollywood Super Agent Jim Ornstein, he pointed out to me that nearly every couple on reality TV has split up.  Think about it: Nick & Jessica; Carmen & Dave; Liza & David; Ronnie & Sammi... the list goes on and on.  [Update: Adrienne Curry & Christopher Knight recently separated, too.]  Since my marriage is infinitely more important to me than a shot at reality stardom, I decided I didn't want to participate. But my boss insisted I meet with the casting directors.  So, I had no choice but to purposely bomb the audition.  The casting directors were looking for a dynamic New Yorker who knew how to work hard, play hard. Here's how our conversation went:

CASTING TEAM: What do you like to do in your spare time?

JILL: (in a monotone) Read.

CASTING TEAM: What else?

JILL: Play Scrabble.

CASTING TEAM: What's your average workday like?  Hectic? Lots of celebrity encounters?

JILL: I spend a lot of time at my computer.

CASTING TEAM: I'm sure you have some interesting interactions with people here in the office.

JILL: Um, I'm on the phone a lot, so I'm not really involved in the office gossip or anything.

CASTING TEAM: Are you single? Dating?  Hitting the club scene?

JILL: I'm married.  And in case it impacts your shoot, you should know, my husband refuses to be on camera.

CASTING TEAM: Well, thanks for coming in.

--Oprah Winfrey Method: Work as a local news reporter, then land a talk show gig.  I loved this idea, so I tried this idea.  I've worked for more than a decade as a reporter.  I've covered hard news at the local level and entertainment news at the national level.  And where am I today?  Blogging about my hopes of becoming a talk show host.  Hmph.

--Kelly Ripa Method: Become a soap star, then host a talk show.  One of my few talents is my ability to cry on command. With said talent, I'm seriously considering this route.  I actually once had one line on As The World Turns, and I clearly nailed it. (It's a mystery why the producers never gave Flight Attendant #2 a 5-episode arc.)

--Whoopi Goldberg Method: Win an Oscar, then host a talk show.  I think my chances of this are similar to Jim Carrey's odds of getting the girl in one of my all-time favorite non-Oscar-winning films, Dumb & Dumber.  Here's a discussion between Jim Carrey's character, Lloyd, and Lauren Holly's character, Mary:

Lloyd: What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together? 

Mary: Well, Lloyd, that's difficult to say. I mean, we don't really... 

Lloyd: Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances? 

Mary: Not good. 

Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred? 

Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
[pause] 

Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance.

Here's hoping I have a better chance at my dream than poor Lloyd Christmas did in Dumb & Dumber!  

Dances with DeGeneres

My friend Lisa was in the audience at today's The Ellen DeGeneres Show. When Ellen started off her show with her daily dance, she danced right up to Lisa.  I even saw Ellen look directly into Lisa's eyes and impart some talk show host magic on her!  I was so jealous excited, I almost dropped my Oreo cookies carrot sticks.  

Ellen dancing with Gaga (not my friend Lisa)

Years before Ellen's talk show hit the airwaves, I had a great idea.*  Someday I would have a show, perhaps titled The Jill Dobson Show, and I would start it each day with one of my enthusiastic (if not terribly coordinated) dances.  It would be a fun and kind of silly way to engage the audience.  

Lisa Gilbar in the audience at Ellen

I also decided that after I started my own talk show, I would then start my own magazine with fashion and beauty tips along with uplifting articles about reaching one's dreams. Clearly, Oprah beat me to the punch on that one.  (As did Rosie.)  

And I planned an awesome segment called the Six-Month Makeover.  In it, viewers would get the usual new look from hairstylists, makeup artists and fashion stylists, BUT they'd also have six months to get toned, visit the dentist and do some other long-term improvements.  As you can imagine, I'll be watching Monday's premiere of Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition with both interest and a sense of urgency... I've got to get my own talk show STAT -- before all my ideas end up on TV!

Listen up, dear viewers of The Jill Dobson Show: If you see a TV host going around trying the newest Hollywood workout alongside Chelsea Handler one week and Elisabeth Hasselbeck the next (and aforementioned host is hilariously out of breath because she's struggling to keep up, while also simultaneously trying to interview Chelsea/Elisabeth)... you'll know I've been beaten the the punch... again!  

----- ----- ----- ----- 

*You'll have to take my word on this, since I don't have legal documentation to prove it.  But I'm a very honest gal.  I'll even admit that, despite my best intention, my afternoon snack was much more chocolately and carb-filled than it should have been.  I'll also admit that my abs look nothing like Elisabeth Hasselbeck's.  (Hmmm, I wonder if those two things are related?)