Talk Show Hopeful: My Greatest Regret

Photo source: USA Today

My greatest regret in life? I didn't start regularly watching Today with Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb until last month. I've been missing so much. Great co-host chemistry! Cute kids doing a mini The Voice! Wine at 10am! 
When The Jill Dobson Show takes off you can bet we'll have at least 2 out of 3. (Sorry, The Voice.)
I'm going to be a guest on Red Eye on Fox News Channel overnight tonight (3-4amET) and I fully plan to give a shout-out to my two new best friends. 
I hope we can remain best friends when my dream show hits the airwaves. KLG and HK, let's remember the wise words of morning show veteran Diane Sawyer:
Competition is easier to accept if you realize it is not an act of oppression or abrasion. I've worked with some of my best friends in direct competition.
If Diane and Katie* can make it, we can too!


*We all agree Diane was talking about Katie Couric, right?

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Ready for RedEye

Red Eye file photo. Spring 2011. Courtesy Hi Def News Caps.

To prepare for a Thursday night taping of Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld, I made the following to-do list:
-Hand our four month old baby off to my husband.
-Study up on the day's news topics. 
-Shower.
-Do hair and makeup.
-Try on several dresses and pick the one that looks best.


Here's how my day really went:
-Scan the day's news topics on my Blackberry while calming a crying baby, hoping my husband will be home from work soon.
-Welcome husband home by immediately handing him the baby. Realize I forgot to say hello. Apologize.
-Take the baby back 10 minutes later, because he seems hungry.
-Stop feeding the baby after a few minutes to change him, because he has wet through his diaper, his outfit, and my outfit.
-Get a sudden flash of inspiration to dress the baby up like his favorite toy, Ernie, in a striped shirt, blue pants and red shoe-like socks. 
-Do a photo shoot of the baby with Ernie.
-Spend an extra few minutes taking a photo in which the baby's face isn't showing, because he says he doesn't want his future girlfriends to see it online someday and mock him for loving an Ernie doll. (Yes, that's right. My four-month old talks. In full sentences. And worries about his online reputation. He's a smart one.)

Dressed like Ernie in striped shirt, blue pants and red "shoes."  

-Welcome some friends who have dropped by to meet the baby. Give them a tour of our home, warning them not to trip on the baby toys in our dining-room-turned-playroom. (I've done a baby-tastic home makeover. Full blog on that coming soon.) Apologize for STILL BEING IN MY PAJAMAS. At 7pm. Yikes.
-Shower, shampooing twice to get all the spit-up out of my hair.
-Burp baby. Sigh when he spits-up in my twice-shampooed hair. Decide to just leave it there and hope the Red Eye viewers don't notice.

-Realize there's no time to do my makeup or fix my hair. Hope the beauty team at Red Eye doesn't mind me showing up with a bare face and spit-uppy hair.
-Throw on the first dress I see in my closet. Cross my fingers in hopes that it will fit, post-pregnancy. Realize that it does fit. Rejoice! Head to Red Eye.

Host Chat: The "Leg Chair"

Welcome to another edition of Host Chat.  Just as Regis shares exciting stories from his life each morning, I share my latest tales of hobnobbing, hijinks, and more often than not, humiliation!

Photo source: Hi-Def News Caps
Photo date: October 2010

My latest TV appearance: An early Friday morning guest spot on Red Eye.

One of the show's hot topics: A member of Gov. Pawlenty's camp has apologized for saying Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann has "sex appeal."  

My take: Most women are happy to be complimented on their appearance... when they're on a date.  But in the workplace, we'd rather be recognized for our contributions, intelligence and dedication.

For me, personally, I've always hoped that Red Eye viewers appreciated my humor, my constant belittling of my nemesis Bill Schulz, and the (hopefully) apparent research I put into each of the show's topics.  That's why I got a little concerned during the day Thursday, as more and more viewers took to Twitter with Red Eye-related requests for me, including, "Wear a short dress," and "Leg chair!!!!!"

"Leg chair" is a term coined by Red Eye viewers for the seat closet to the camera (see photo above).  What the folks on Twitter may have missed during my last Red Eye appearance (and several subsequent blog postings**) is that I'm expecting a baby.  Therefore, these days, when I appear on the show, I no longer look quite like I do in the photo above. Instead, I look much more like this:

Victoria Beckham, pregnant and sunbathing
Photo source: www.Facebook.com/Beckham

OK, I look nothing like the above image.  Yes, I'm pregnant and so is Victoria Beckham, but I'm sure I have a good 30 pounds on her, among many other differences!  By the way, David Beckham says that photo is a candid shot he just happened to snap of his wife Victoria sunbathing (riiiiight).  I guarantee she spent longer in hair and makeup for that shot than I did for my last 5 Red Eye appearances combined!  But I digress...
The point is, if the guys on Twitter Thursday afternoon are representative of all Red Eye viewers, and what they like best about me is my (pre-pregnancy) appearance, then we're all in for disappointment any time I'm in front of the camera these days.
So I asked folks on Twitter the following (somewhat needy) question:

To those tweeting about the #RedEye #legchair: What you like best about me are my smarts/humor, right? #PleaseSayYes

And here are some of the responses I got back:
@Yasminek34: Yes
@GoBucks_23: Of course we like you for your humor and smarts... We're not that shallow
@ImAngelina: Yes
@StitchJonze: Jill we don't 'Like' your smarts/humor .... We LOVE it! 
@mtbsteve: Yes!!!
@Schnerrydog: Best guests #legchair or not have great interplay with greg bill and andy.  You exceed expectations...


It seems, at least around 7am Eastern Time, the viewers are saying all the right things.  As for the 3am crowd, well... let's just say I'll have to think twice about checking Twitter while the show is airing!  If you've ever heard the segment where Greg plays the voicemail he gets from viewers, you'd know that the vocal ones, at least, are clearly way, wayyyyy under the influence.  I don't even want to know what those guys will have to say about my new, more zaftig***, baby-on-board appearance!  I'll stop when I'm ahead.  
Time for my Operation Media Blackout to commence!  

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* Really, really early.  3am ET on Fox News Channel.

**Geez, thanks for tuning into The Jill Dobson Show so frequently, guys!

***I have always wanted to use that word.  Say it with me: "Zaftig."  Fun, right?

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Talk Show Hopeful: Jill Dobson

Welcome to another edition of Talk Show Hopeful: Jill Dobson, where I share the latest ups and downs in my lifelong quest to become a Talk Show Host.

Serving as guest host on Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld.

Check out my next Red Eye appearance, early Friday morning!

In a decade of working in front of the camera, I've covered murders, riots, literal trainwrecks, figurative trainwrecks, the Academy Awards and much, much more.  Along the way, as fans of The Jill Dobson Show will tell you, I've determined that my ultimate dream career would be to someday host (or, better yet, co-host) a talk show. 

Here and there, I've gotten a taste of what it would feel like to be the next Oprah, or Ellen or Rachael.  I've thoroughly enjoyed being a guest on several talk shows that are now, sadly, defunct, including The Montel Williams Show.*  I once co-hosted a talk show pilot, which, sadly, never made it on the air.**  The closest I've come to my dream is serving as fill-in host of Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld, which I absolutely loved doing.  (Other than having to work with my nemesis, Bill Schulz, of course!)  

While others get their adrenaline rush from skydiving and skiing, I get mine from that little red light that indicates, "We're LIVE!"  I've especially loved interacting with a live studio audience, or the next-best thing, the fans at home who emailed in to the web-based talk show I hosted for a couple years, Strategy Room.

If I had my own talk show today, I'd be chatting with my co-host about the Roger Clemens trial, my efforts (and failures) to get jury duty while everyone else in America seems to be trying to avoid it, the reported cancellation of Eliot Spitzer's show, and which Oscar winner just named her baby boy Alex Alef Aleph.  There's so much to discuss... and so little airtime!

The good news for me?  I'm returning to the talk show format later this week, at least for an hour.  Catch me on Red Eye this Friday morning (3-4am Eastern) on FNC with Greg Gutfeld and the gang!  It's sure to be a scandalously good time.  And who knows, maybe a network exec or two will tune in and think, "This girl should have her own show!"  Hey, if Eliot Spitzer can get a show....

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*You don't think it's my fault that Montel, Keith Ablow and Mike & Juliet all went off the air shortly after my guest appearances, do you?  You do?!!  Oh, no!  I hope ABC President Ben Sherwood and his counterparts at NBC and CBS don't think that!

**One of my fellow hosts: Supermodel Carol Alt.  Guess which one of us ate mayo-filled tuna sandwiches during our lunch breaks, and which one had raw vegetables?

Host Chat: Jill's Big News

Welcome to another edition of Host Chat.  Just as Regis shares stories from his exciting life each morning on his talk show, I share my latest tales of hobnobbing, hijinks, and more often than not, humiliation!

6/3/11: Special Red Eye edition of "Baby Bump Show & Tell"

I had an exciting weekend!  I made a big announcement in the early hours of Friday morning.  I was a guest on Red Eye, and at the end of the show, I took a quick moment to tell my fellow panelists and viewers everywhere some news: "With a little help from my husband, I have the hot new Hollywood accessory-- a baby bump!"
I expect the news to end up on the cover of Us Weekly and all the industry blogs immediately!  In the meantime, I'm getting tons of funny and encouraging reactions from people on Twitter, including these comments:
@KevTracy: Just please don't name him or her Kal-El* or Bronx Mowgli**
@FrankR_08: Hope he or she is a healthy future red carpet reporter
@TheKennedySmith [paraphrasing Red Eye host Greg Gutfeld]: Congratulations on gettin' fat!  (I kid. Congratulations, really.)
@NickiLaLa13: Tonight's RedEye was hysterical. And congrats to Jill Dobson!!
@bubbacrzy: When we said we want 'more Dobson' we didn't mean more belly. You take things too literally!


Thanks to the all the cyber comments, we've already decided to name the baby Kal-Mowgli.  And yes, we'll get little K-M working the red carpet and the Hollywood junket scene by age 4.  (That's how prodigies are made, you know!)  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go wait by my mailbox for all my weekly celebrity magazines to arrive... gotta see how many covers feature me rather than boring old Angelina Jolie this month!


*As in Nick Cage's son
*As in Ashlee Simpson's son
Photo credit: www.highdefnewscaps.blogspot.com 

Special Thanks to: Hollywood Super Agent Jim Ornstein (also known as the father-to-be)!